OK, I’m just going to put it out there — sex is one of the best parts about being an adult. Yes, we have to worry about unexciting things like bills, insurance, and building retirement portfolios, but also, we get to have orgasms. I’ve always loved getting frisky with my partner. When we first started dating almost six years ago, we just couldn’t get enough of each other, especially in the bedroom. We were long-distance for the first 16 months of our relationship, so whenever we saw each other in person, we clearly had to make up for lost time.
Once we moved in together, the regularity continued. The vast majority of our days either began or ended (or sometimes both — heyo!) with each other. But over time, it slowly became less frequent, particularly in the mornings.
And let me say this — I don’t buy the hackneyed aphorism “the honeymoon phase ends.” What actually happens is, you know, real life. We have careers and responsibilities, and sometimes we’re just too damn tired to get down. It doesn’t mean the excitement has faded; in fact, the deeper our connection grows, the stronger my attraction to him becomes. We still frequently rendezvous at night, but I realized that in our morning routine, we regularly traded getting physical for a few additional minutes of sleep. So, we made a pact to have morning sex every day for a full week — 6 a.m. wake-up calls or not — to see how it affected us and if it was a groove we could get back into.
Realization number one: morning sex is incredibly energizing. As someone who’s not a morning person in the slightest (another cup of coffee, please?), I relish in those extra 20 minutes I can roll around in bed. But I found that when I rolled around for different reasons, it was actually easier to pull myself out of bed each day. It jump-started my heart rate, equivalent to starting my morning with a short aerobic workout (but a lot more fun than 50 jumping jacks — just saying). I instantly felt more invigorated and focused, as did he. Thus, I concluded, if you’re also not a morning person — less coffee, more sex!
My partner and I both began our days in noticeably great moods, as well. In fact, I found that we were more playful with each other while getting ready in the mornings, much like we were when we first moved in together. Most days, we took our showers together rather than separately and continued to kiss and flirt throughout the morning until we parted for the day. Science backs me up here; research shows that sex releases oxytocin (aka the cuddle hormone), a feel-good chemical in our brains that makes us feel more gleeful and closer to our partners. So by getting a healthy dose of the chemical first thing in the a.m., we began each day on a high note. But, full disclosure here, it’s not like our morning romp was a magical antidote to end all grievances. There were still times throughout the week when one of us was in an irritable mood, and at times we bickered back and forth. We live together, and we’re human. But we both acknowledged that by getting intimate in the early morning, we did feel more connected to each other as the day went on.
I’ll admit there were two days during the week when I was really tempted to sleep through the sex sesh. I had one particularly early morning and one particularly late night (damn margaritas), and those extra 20 minutes of sleep sounded really appetizing. Still, we did the deed both mornings, and I found that once I pushed through the fatigue and got started, I was so happy that I did. I thought to myself, “Why in the world would I rather sleep than do this?”
“Let’s just keep this going forever,” we laughed to each other about halfway into the week. On the eighth day, we hit the snooze button. But on the ninth? We were back at it again.