The need for (good) sex in humans is up there with the basic need for food and water. So in every relationship that will be tagged as healthy, sex between both partners has to be at a level and with a regularity that is satisfactory to the couple. Failure to have this is what leads to sexual frustration. When one or both partners are not getting sexual contact as often as they want, or in the manner they want it, their relationship comes under stress, and its continuous existence is under a real threat.
Sexual frustration is such a big deal because that lack of harmony and satisfaction has a way of diffusing into other parts of the relationship or marriage, up to the point where everything could become irredeemable.
Below we list five ways to deal with sexual frustration so that the harmony and satisfaction level in your relationship does not drop to the point of no return.
1. Be willing to experiment
Usually in sexual relationships, people have different perceptions of what sex should be like. Therefore one thing that excites one may gross out the other and this, obviously, creates a hole that needs filling (ignore the pun if you can).
One way for couples to plug this opening is to be willing to experiment and help each other get off in the manners most exciting to them, regardless of how the other person feels about that act. This requires a really open mind so that one partner who likes some kind of sexual act doesn’t get frustrated for not getting it.
If you must have a sexual partner, one thing you should be prepared for is to try various things in a spirit of fun and experimentation and thus reduce the scope of frustration.
An alternative way to a disparity in sexual needs is compromise. This way, both partners consider what they both need to attain the best satisfaction possible, and then decide on a middle ground.
You won’t get what you want exactly, but it is certainly a better option as compared to getting nothing and brooding in frustration.
This can’t be said enough, ever!
Communication is very, very necessary for relationships to not be soured by frustration, resentment and unexpressed feelings on all grounds. This is more important when it comes to issue of sex and sexual preferences. That’s why you have to talk about sex, whether or not you are having it yet.
4. Take sex out of the bedroom
Not in the literal sense now although you should also consider having sex in other places apart from your bedroom.
What we mean in this context is that you need to boost intimacy and the emotional connection in your relationship so much that the closeness will naturally roll into steamier sex and an increased willingness to try to please each other in the sack.
“Engaging in non-sexual acts of affection like kissing, holding hands on a walk or cuddling in front of the TV works both ways to enrich a couple’s sex life.”
“The partner with lower libido feels loved and cherished by acts of affection which in turn helps him/her to be emotionally connected and thus more amenable to future sexual encounters. The partner with the greater sex drive on the other hand knows that such acts of non-sexual affection are important investments needed for a fulfilling sex life,” writes Kaylani10 of the BlogSite, Future Scopes.
5. Plan sex dates
Instead of waiting forever for the right time to initiate sex and becoming frustrated when it doesn’t happen, plan sex dates ahead.
According to Kaylani10 “scheduling sex in fact works equally well for both partners – the one who wants more sex can look forward to a night of fireworks while the one who wants it less gets a break from fending off amorous advances and can even do what is necessary – like a warm relaxing bath or a visit to the spa – to get into the mood.”
That, really, doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.
Ayoola Adetayo, reporter at pulse.ng